"Why, that kissing
business is worth a dozen victories! The people here say that no
general or admiral has had such a send-off in St. Kisco. Look at
to-day's papers! Thirteen places have petitioned to have their
post-offices named after you. There will be Jinksvilles and Jinkstowns
everywhere, and one is called Samjinks. Then they're naming their
babies after you like wildfire. Samuela is becoming a common girl's
name, and one chap has called his girl Samjinksina. All the girls are
practising the Jinks limp, too. I saw one huge picture of you painted
on the dead side of a house. It was an ad. of the 'Captain Jinks 5-cent
Cigar.' That's the limit of a man's ambition, I should say. And now
they're beginning to nominate you for President. I'm going to try to
work that up. I'm sending a despatch to _The Lyre_ this morning. If
they take it up, we can put it through. The Republicrats hold their
convention at St. Lewis next month, and they've been looking around for
a military candidate, and you're just the thing. Every woman in the
country will be for you. They won't dare to put up a candidate against
you. You'll just have a walk-over. That song, 'Captain Jinks,' will do
it alone. Everybody is singing it."
"I thought I was too young," said Sam. "Isn't there an age limit?"
"Not a bit of it. They abolished that when they amended the
Constitution and made the President's term six years, and made him
ineligible for reelection.
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