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Howells, William Dean, 1837-1920

"The Minister's Charge"

Ever been to It'ly?"
"No," said Lemuel.
"Well, I hain't but oncet. Oncet is enough for _me_. I run
away, while I was in Venice, and went ashore--if you can call it
ashore; it's all water, and you got to go round in boats: gondolas
they call 'em there--and went to see the American counsul, and told
him I was an American boy, and tried to get him to get me off. But
he couldn't do anything. If you ship under the Swedish flag you're a
Swede, and the whole United States couldn't get you off. If I'd 'a'
shipped under the American flag I'd 'a' been an American, I don't
care if I was born in Hottentot. That's what the counsul said. I
never want to see that town ag'in. I used to hear songs about
Venice--'Beautiful Venice, Bride of the Sea;' but I think it's a
kind of a hole of a place. Well, what I started to say was that when
I turn up in Boston, now,--and I most generally do,--I don't go to
no sailor boardin'-house; I break for the Wayfarer's Lodge, every
time. It's a temperance house, and they give you the worth o' your
money."
"Come! Hurry up!" said the attendant. He wiped the table impatiently
with his towel, and stood waiting for Lemuel and the other to
finish. All the rest had gone.
"Don't you be too fresh, pard," said the mate, with the effect of
standing upon his rights. "Guess if you was on your third bowl, you
wouldn't hurry.


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