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Howells, William Dean, 1837-1920

"The Minister's Charge"

" He gave Lemuel time, but
to no purpose. "Well," he resumed, with affected dejection, "I'll have
to try to imagine it; I guess I can; I haven't worked my imagination
much since I took up the law. But look here, Barker," he continued
more briskly, "now you open up a little. Here I've been giving you
my confidence ever since I saw you--forcing it on you; and you know
just how far I'm gone on Miss Swan, to a hundredth part of an inch;
but I don't know enough of your affections to swear that you've got
any. Now, which one is it? Don't be mean about it. I won't give you
away. Honest Injun!"
Lemuel was goaded to desperation. His face burned, and the
perspiration began to break out on his forehead. He did not know how
to escape from this pursuit.
"Which is it, Barker?" repeated his tormentor. "I know it's human
nature to deny it; though I never could understand why; if I was
engaged, the Sunday papers should have it about as quick!"
"I'm _not_ engaged!" cried Lemuel.
"You ain't?" yelled Berry.
"No!"
"Give me your hand! Neither am I!"
He shook Lemuel's helpless hand with mock heroic fervour. "We are
brothers from this time forth, Barker! You can't imagine how closely
this tie binds you to me, Barker. Barker, we are one; with no
particular prospect, as far as I am concerned, of ever being more."
He offered to dramatise a burst of tears on Lemuel's shoulder; but
Lemuel escaped from him.


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