My
father, who condescended sometimes to reproach himself for being
partly the cause of spoiling my fortune, conceived the idea of going
himself to Paris, to speak to the first consul in my favor. I
confess, that at first I consented to accept this proof of my
father's attachment; I represented to myself such an idea of the
ascendancy which his presence would produce, that I thought it
impossible to resist him; his age, the fine expression of his looks,
and the union of so much noble mindedness, and refinement of
intellect, appeared to me likely even to captivate Bonaparte
himself. I knew not at that time, to what a degree the consul was
irritated against his book; but fortunately for me, I reflected that
these very advantages were only more likely to excite in the first
consul a stronger desire of humbling their possessor. Assuredly he
would have found means, at least in appearance, of accomplishing
that desire; as power in France has many allies, and if the spirit
of opposition has been frequently displayed, it has only been
because the weakness of the government has offered it an easy
victory. It cannot be too often repeated, that what the French love
above all things, is success, and that with them, power easily
succeeds in making misfortune ridiculous. Finally, thank God! I
awoke from the illusion to which I had given myself up, and
positively refused the noble sacrifice which my father proposed to
make for me.
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