A man whom I ought not to
name*, but who I trust knows how much I esteem the elevation of his
character and conduct, said to me: "If you remain, he will treat you
as Elizabeth did Mary Stuart:--nineteen years of misery, and the
catastrophe at last." Another person, witty but unguarded in his
expressions, wrote to me, that it was dishonorable to remain after
so much ill-treatment. I had no need of these recommendations to
wish, passionately wish, to depart; from the moment that I could no
longer see my friends, that I was only a burden to my children's
existence, was it not time to determine? The prefect, however,
repeated in every possible way, that if I went off, I should be
seized; that at Vienna, as well as at Berlin, I should be reclaimed;
and that I could not make the least preparation for departure
without his being informed of it; for he knew, he said, every thing
that passed in my house. In that respect he was a boaster, and, as
the event has proved, exhibited mere fatuity in matters of
espionnage. But who would not have been terrified at the tone of
assurance with which he told all my friends that I could not move a
step without being seized by the gendarmes!
* Count Elzearn de Sabran.
CHAPTER 5.
Departure from Coppet.
I passed eight months in a state I cannot describe, every day making
a trial of my courage, and every day shrinking at the idea of a
prison.
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