Every day the number of persons with whom I could be in
intelligence diminished; and all my feelings became a weight upon my
soul, in place of being a source of life. There was an end of my
talents, of my happiness, of my existence, for it is frightful to be
of no service to one's children, and to be the cause of injuring
one's friends. Finally, the news I received, announced to me from
all quarters the formidable preparations of the emperor: it was
evident that he wished first to make himself master of the ports of
the Baltic by the destruction of Russia, and that afterwards he
reckoned on making use of the wrecks of that power to lead them
against Constantinople: and his subsequent intention was to make
that the point of starting for the conquest of Asia and Africa. A
short time before he left Paris, he had said, "I am tired of this
old Europe." And in truth she is no longer sufficient for the
activity of her master. The last outlets of the Continent might be
closed from one moment to another, and I was about to find myself in
Europe as in a garrisoned town, where all the gates are guarded by
military.
I determined therefore on going off, while there yet remained one
means of getting to England, and that means the tour of the whole of
Europe. I fixed the 15th of May for my departure, the preparations
for which had been arranged long before-hand in the most profound
secrecy.
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