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Shaw, George Bernard, 1856-1950

"Heartbreak House"

A wild-looking old gentleman came and looked in
at the window; and I heard him calling out, "Nurse, there is a
young and attractive female waiting in the poop. Go and see what
she wants." Are you the nurse?
THE WOMANSERVANT. Yes, miss: I'm Nurse Guinness. That was old
Captain Shotover, Mrs Hushabye's father. I heard him roaring; but
I thought it was for something else. I suppose it was Mrs
Hushabye that invited you, ducky?
THE YOUNG LADY. I understood her to do so. But really I think I'd
better go.
NURSE GUINNESS. Oh, don't think of such a thing, miss. If Mrs
Hushabye has forgotten all about it, it will be a pleasant
surprise for her to see you, won't it?
THE YOUNG LADY. It has been a very unpleasant surprise to me to
find that nobody expects me.
NURSE GUINNESS. You'll get used to it, miss: this house is full
of surprises for them that don't know our ways.
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER [looking in from the hall suddenly: an ancient
but still hardy man with an immense white beard, in a reefer
jacket with a whistle hanging from his neck]. Nurse, there is a
hold-all and a handbag on the front steps for everybody to fall
over. Also a tennis racquet. Who the devil left them there?
THE YOUNG LADY. They are mine, I'm afraid.
TAE CAPTAIN [advancing to the drawing-table].


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