LADY UTTERWORD. But I'm your daughter. You haven't seen me for
years.
THE CAPTAIN. So much the worse! When our relatives are at home,
we have to think of all their good points or it would be
impossible to endure them. But when they are away, we console
ourselves for their absence by dwelling on their vices. That is
how I have come to think my absent daughter Ariadne a perfect
fiend; so do not try to ingratiate yourself here by impersonating
her [he walks firmly away to the other side of the room].
LADY UTTERWORD. Ingratiating myself indeed! [With dignity]. Very
well, papa. [She sits down at the drawing-table and pours out tea
for herself].
THE CAPTAIN. I am neglecting my social duties. You remember Dunn?
Billy Dunn?
LADY UTTERWORD. DO you mean that villainous sailor who robbed
you?
THE CAPTAIN [introducing Ellie]. His daughter. [He sits down on
the sofa].
ELLIE [protesting]. No--
Nurse Guinness returns with fresh tea.
THE CAPTAIN. Take that hogwash away. Do you hear?
NURSE. You've actually remembered about the tea! [To Ellie]. Oh,
miss, he didn't forget you after all! You HAVE made an
impression.
THE CAPTAIN [gloomily]. Youth! beauty! novelty! They are badly
wanted in this house. I am excessively old. Hesione is only
moderately young.
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