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Shaw, George Bernard, 1856-1950

"Heartbreak House"

Hesione, another person has
arrived and wants a room. Man about town, well dressed, fifty.
THE GENTLEMAN. Fancy Hesione's feelings! May I ask are you a
member of the family?
MANGAN. No.
THE GENTLEMAN. I am. At least a connection.
Mrs Hushabye comes back.
MRS HUSHABYE. How do you do? How good of you to come!
THE GENTLEMAN. I am very glad indeed to make your acquaintance,
Hesione. [Instead of taking her hand he kisses her. At the same
moment the captain appears in the doorway]. You will excuse my
kissing your daughter, Captain, when I tell you that--
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER. Stuff! Everyone kisses my daughter. Kiss her as
much as you like [he makes for the pantry].
THE GENTLEMAN. Thank you. One moment, Captain. [The captain halts
and turns. The gentleman goes to him affably]. Do you happen to
remember but probably you don't, as it occurred many years ago--
that your younger daughter married a numskull?
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER. Yes. She said she'd marry anybody to get away
from this house. I should not have recognized you: your head is
no longer like a walnut. Your aspect is softened. You have been
boiled in bread and milk for years and years, like other married
men. Poor devil! [He disappears into the pantry].
MRS HUSHABYE [going past Mangan to the gentleman and scrutinizing
him].


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