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Shaw, George Bernard, 1856-1950

"Heartbreak House"

And I must hurry.
I am old: I have no time to waste in talk [he is about to go into
the pantry, and Hector is making for the hall, when Hesione comes
back].
MRS HUSHABYE. Daddiest, you and Hector must come and help me to
entertain all these people. What on earth were you shouting
about?
HECTOR [stopping in the act of turning the door handle]. He is
madder than usual.
MRS HUSHABYE. We all are.
HECTOR. I must change [he resumes his door opening].
MRS HUSHABYE. Stop, stop. Come back, both of you. Come back.
[They return, reluctantly]. Money is running short.
HECTOR. Money! Where are my April dividends?
MRS HUSHABYE. Where is the snow that fell last year?
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER. Where is all the money you had for that patent
lifeboat I invented?
MRS HUSHABYE. Five hundred pounds; and I have made it last since
Easter!
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER. Since Easter! Barely four months! Monstrous
extravagance! I could live for seven years on 500 pounds.
MRS HUSHABYE. Not keeping open house as we do here, daddiest.
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER. Only 500 pounds for that lifeboat! I got twelve
thousand for the invention before that.
MRS HUSHABYE. Yes, dear; but that was for the ship with the
magnetic keel that sucked up submarines. Living at the rate we
do, you cannot afford life-saving inventions.


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