I vow to Gad! you look extremely shocking, with these gummy
eyes, lanthorn jaws, and toothless chaps. What! you squint at the
ladies, you old rotten medlar? Yes, yes, we understand your ogling;
but you must content yourself with a cook-maid, sink me! I see you
want to sit. These withered shanks of yours tremble under their
burden; but you must have a little patience, old Hirco! indeed you
must. I intend to mortify you a little longer, curse me!"
The company was so tickled with this address, which was delivered
with much grimace and gesticulation, that they burst out into a
loud fit of laughter, which they fathered upon a monkey that was
chained in the room; and, when the peal was over, the wit renewed
the attack in these words: "I suppose you are fool enough to think
this mirth was occasioned by Pug. Ay, there he is; you had best
survey him; he is of your own family; switch me. But the laugh was
at your expense; and you ought to thank Heaven for making you so
ridiculous." While he uttered these ingenious ejaculations, the
old gentleman bowed alternately to him and the monkey, that seemed
to grin and chatter in imitation of the beau, and, with an arch
solemnity of visage, pronounced, "Gentlemen, as I have not the honour
to understand your compliments, they will be much better bestowed
on each other.
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