"Though he thus made an insensible progress in my heart, he did
not find my virtue an easy conquest; and I myself was ignorant of
the advantage he had gained with regard to my inclinations, until
I was convinced of his success by an alarm of jealousy which I one
day felt, at seeing him engaged in conversation with another lady.
I forthwith recognized this symptom of love, with which I had
been formerly acquainted, and trembled at the discovery of my own
weakness. I underwent a strange agitation and mixture of contrary
sensations. I was pleased with the passion, yet ashamed of avowing
it even to my own mind. The rights of a husband, though mine was
but a nominal one, occurred to my reflection, and virtue, modesty,
and honour, forbade me to cherish the guilty flame.
"When I encouraged these laudable scruples, and resolved to
sacrifice my love to duty and reputation, my lord was almost every
day employed in riding post to my father, with complaints of my
conduct, which was hitherto irreproachable; though the greatest
grievance which he pretended to have suffered was my refusing to
comply with his desire, when he entreated me to lie, a whole hour
every morning, with my neck uncovered, that, by gazing, he might
quiet the perturbation of his spirits.
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