She was a good girl, had a particular
attachment to me, and for many years, during which she lived in my
service, was indefatigably assiduous in contributing to my ease,
or rather in alleviating my affliction. For, though S-- came up
to town according to promise, and renewed a sort of correspondence
with me for the space of five months, his complaisance would extend
no farther; and he gave me to understand, that he had determined
to go abroad with Mr. V--; whom he accordingly accompanied in his
envoying to D--.
"I understood the real cause of this expedition, which, notwithstanding
his oaths and protestations of unabated love and regard, I construed
into a palpable mark of dislike and disrespect; nor could the
repeated assurances I received from him in letters mitigate the
anguish and mortification that preyed upon my heart. I therefore
gave up all hopes of recovering the happiness I had lost. I told
him on the eve of his departure, that he might exercise his gallantry
a great while, before he would meet with my fellow, in point of
sincerity and love; for I would rather have been a servant in his
house, with the privilege of seeing him, than the queen of England
debarred of that pleasure.
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