"When he took his leave, and went down-stairs, I shrunk at every
step he made, as if a new wound had been inflicted upon me and
when I heard the door shut behind him, my heart died within me. I
had the satisfaction to hear afterwards, he lamented the loss of
me prodigiously, and that he had never been so happy since. I sat
down to write a letter, in which I forgave his indifference, because
I knew the affections are altogether involuntary, and wished him
all the happiness he deserved. I then walked up and down the room
in the most restless anxiety, was put to bed by my maid, rose at
six, mounted my horse and rode forty miles, in order to fatigue
myself that I might next night enjoy some repose. This exercise I
daily underwent for months together; and, when it did not answer
my purpose, I used to walk round Hyde-park in the evening, when the
place was quite solitary and unvisited by any other human creature.
"In the course of this melancholy perambulation, I was one day
accosted by a very great man, who, after the first salutation, asked
whether or not my intercourse with S-- was at an end, and if I had
any allowance from my husband.
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