If the world should place to the account of my
indiscretion my travelling in this manner with gentlemen to whom
I had no particular attachment, let it also be considered, as an
alleviation, that I always lived in terror of my lord, and consequently
was often obliged to shift my quarters; so that, my finances being
extremely slender, I stood the more in need of assistance and
protection. I was, besides, young, inconsiderate, and so simple, as
to suppose the figure of an ugly man would always secure me from
censure on his account; neither did I ever dream of any man's
addresses, until he made an actual declaration of his love.
"Upon my return to Bath, I was again harassed by Lord --, who came
thither accompanied by my father, whom I was very glad to see,
though he importuned me to comply with my husband's desire, and
for the future keep measures with the world. This remonstrance
about living with my lord, which he constantly repeated, was the
only instance of his unkindness which I ever felt. But all his
admonitions were not of force sufficient to shake my resolution in
that particular; though the debate continued so late, that I told
his lordship, it was high time to retire, for I could not accommodate
him with a bed.
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