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This
mortification I deserved at his hands, though he had once put it
in my power to be above all such paltry applications; and I should
not have been compelled to the disagreeable task of troubling
my friends, had not I voluntarily resigned what he formerly gave
me. As to the other gentleman to whom I addressed myself on this
occasion, I think he might have shown more regard to my situation,
not only for the reasons already mentioned, but because he knew me
too well to be ignorant of what I must have suffered in condescending
to make such a request.
"Several officers, who guessed my adversity, generously offered to
supply me with money; but I could not bring myself to make use of
their friendship, or even to own my distress, except to one person,
of whom I borrowed a small sum. To crown my misfortunes, I was
taken very ill, at a time when there was no other way of avoiding
the clutches of my persecutor but by a precipitate flight. In this
emergency, I applied to a worthy gentleman of Brussels, a very
good friend of mine, but no lover.


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