"This imputation of breaking my word, which I defy the whole world
to prove I ever did, incensed me the more, as I myself had proposed
the scheme for his service, although I knew the accomplishment
of it would endanger the validity of my own settlement; and my
indignation was still more augmented by the behaviour of Mr. G--,
who had always professed a regard for my interest, and upon my last
accommodation with my lord, undertaken to effect a reconciliation
between my father and me; but, when he was questioned about the
particulars of this difference, and desired to declare whether his
lordship or I was to blame, he declined the office of arbitrator,
refused to be explicit upon the subject, and by certain shrewd hums
and ha's, signified his disapprobation of my conduct. Yet this very
man, when I imparted to him, in confidence, my intention of making
another retreat, and frankly asked his opinion of my design, seemed
to acquiesce in the justice of it in these remarkable words: "Madam,
if I thought or had hopes of my lord growing better, I would down on
my knees to desire you to stay; but, as I have not, I say nothing.
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