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Smollett, Tobias George, 1721-1771

"The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle"


This demand galled and perplexed the old man to such a degree,
that the muscles of his face assumed a contraction peculiarly
virulent, and exhibited the character of Diogenes with a most lively
expression; he knew that a confession of his true situation would
furnish Pickle with an opportunity to make reprisals upon him, with
intolerable triumph; and that, by a downright refusal to supply
his wants, he would for ever forfeit his friendship and esteem, and
might provoke him to take ample vengeance for his sordid behaviour,
by exposing him, in his native colours, to the resentment of those
whom he had so long deceived. These considerations kept him some
time in a most rancorous state of suspense, which Peregrine affected
to misinterpret, by bidding him freely declare his suspicion, if
he did not think it safe to comply with his request, and he would
make shift elsewhere.
This seeming misconstruction increased the torture of the misanthrope,
who, with the utmost irritation of feature, "Oons!" cried he, "what
villainy have you noted in my conduct, that you treat me like a
rascally usurer?" Peregrine very gravely replied, that the question
needed no answer; "for," said he, "had I considered you as a usurer,
I would have come with a security under my arm; but, all evasion
apart, will you stead me? will you pleasure me? shall I have the
money?"--"Would it were in your belly, with a barrel of gunpowder!"
exclaimed the enraged cynic; "since I must be excruciated, read
that plaguy paper! 'Sblood! why didn't nature clap a pair of long
ears and a tail upon me, that I might be a real ass, and champ
thistles on some common, independent of my fellow-creatures? Would
I were a worm, that I might creep into the earth, and thatch my
habitation with a single straw; or rather a wasp or a viper, that
I might make the rascally world feel my resentment.


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