"On my own account"
said he, "I am quite unconcerned; for, while God spares me health
and these ten fingers, I can earn a comfortable subsistence anywhere;
but what must become of you, who have less humility to stoop, and
more appetites to gratify?" Here I interrupted him, by saying,
with a gloomy aspect, I should never want a resource while I had a
loaded pistol in possession. Stupified with horror at this dreadful
insinuation, he stood mute for some time and then broke out into
"God of his infinite mercy enable you to withstand that temptation
of the devil! Consider your immortal soul--there's no repentance
in the grave! O Lord! that we ever should have come to this! Are
we not enjoined to resign ourselves to the will of Heaven?--where
is your patience?--Durum patientia frango--you are but a young
man--there may be many good things in store for you--accidit in
puncto quo non speratur in anno--remember your uncle, Mr. Bowling;
perhaps he is now on his voyage homeward, pleasing himself with
the hopes of seeing and relieving you; nay, peradventure, he has
already arrived, for the ship was expected about this time." A
ray of hope shot athwart my soul at this suggestion; I thanked my
friend for this seasonable recollection, and, after having promised
to take no resolution till his return, dismissed him to Wapping
for intelligence.
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