Isobel, I have had long and hard experience, and your
ideas are not new ones to me. Believe me, child, the only real relief
is in absolute conquest, and the earlier the battle begins, the easier
and the shorter it will be. If one can keep irritability under, one
may escape a struggle to the death with passion. I am not cramming
principles down your throat--I say as a matter of personal practice,
that I do not know, and never hope to find a smoother or a shorter
way. But I can say also--after Victory comes Peace."
I gave a heavy sigh.
"Thank you, Aunt Isobel, I will try; but it makes my second difficulty
all the worse. I can fancy that I might possibly learn self-control; I
can fancy by main force holding my tongue, or compelling it to speak
very slowly and civilly: but one can't force one's feelings. Aunt
Isobel, if I had been very much insulted or provoked, I might keep on
being civil for years on the outside, but how I should hate! You can't
prevent yourself hating. People talk about 'forgive and forget.' If
forgiving means doing no harm, and forgetting means behaving quite
civilly, as if nothing had happened, one could. But of course it's
nonsense to talk of making yourself really _forget_ anything.
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