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Mackay, Isabel Ecclestone, 1875-1928

"The Window-Gazer"

She would have known that the position of secretary
to a professional man does not logically include heart-burnings and
questionings concerning that gentleman's love affairs, past or
present. She would have refused to consider Mary. She would have
been quite happy in the position she had deliberately made for
herself.
Much as we would like to present Desire in this thoroughly sensible
light, we fear that her action on the morning following her visit to
the invalid Miss Martin would not bear us out in so doing. For on
that morning, with all facts of the situation freshly in her mind,
she went down-town to Dr. Rogers' office for no other purpose than
to see and talk to Dr. Rogers' yellow-haired nurse.
"When I see her and hear her," said Desire to her-self, "I shall
know. And it will be so comfortable to know." Never a word, mind
you, about the inconsistency of being uncomfortable through not
knowing.
No attempt at reminding herself that knowledge was none of her
business. No arguing out of the matter at all. Merely the following
of a blind impulse to find Mary if Mary were to be found.
This impulse, which was wholly foreign to her natural habit of mind,
she justified to herself under the guise of "natural curiosity." All
she had to do was to make the call seem sufficiently casual and to
time her arrival at the doctor's office at an hour when he could not
possibly be in it. As a newcomer, such a mistake would seem quite
plausible and could be passed over easily with "How stupid of me! I
should have known.


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