He said he
would take care of w both. You were just three months old.
"I know now that I made a terrible mistake. He is not kind. He is
not good. I am terrified of him. But the fear which makes me brave
against other fears is the thought of leaving you. I try to remember
my father. If I had been like him I could have worked for you and we
might have been happy. Perhaps my mother was timid. I don't remember
her.
"I don't know what to put in this letter, or how to make you
understand. I loved your father. He was not a bad man. I am sure he
never harmed anyone. He would have taken care of me all his life.
But he didn't live. It was Dr. Farr who found out about the English
wife. He pointed out that you would have no name and offered to give
you his.
"I did you a great wrong. His name--better far to have no name than
his! I am sure it is a wicked name. So I want you to know that it is
not yours. You have no name by law, but I think, now, that there are
worse things. Your father's name was Harry Strangeways. His people
are English, a good family but very strict. I could not let them
know about us. They would never have forgiven Harry. It would have
been like slandering the dead. Do not blame him, little Desire, for
I am sure he meant to do right. He was always light-hearted. And
kind--always kind. Your laugh is just like his. Think of us both, if
you can, with kindness--your unhappy Mother."
Long before Desire came to the end of the crumpled sheets her tears
were falling hot and thick upon them.
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